Tips for Dealing with Misophonia for Families
As an individual with Misophonia and a professional who helps others with coping skills, I know how difficult holidays can be. We want holiday time to be meaningful. As parents, we feel a special burden to provide our children with harmonious family holiday happenings. As adults, we may feel obligated to attend holiday occasions that we may not want to attend. In addition, we may be burdened with travel that is highly difficult and fatigue inducing. How do we handle within the context of Misophonia?
Here are some general suggestions that you may find helpful:
Always Prepare
Whether you are traveling, visiting others, or both, make sure to let your child know ahead of time what may be happening!
To the extent that you are able, explain to your child what to expect both situationally and emotionally. For example, "We are going to visit Grandma and Grandpa tomorrow. You may have some problems with Misophonia. I (or we) know this might be difficult for you. However, we are there to support you. Let’s think of some things that you can do if you are triggered." This often alleviates the anticipatory anxiety that builds up when facing both unknown and/or known triggering situations. This also makes your child feel that you are "in this together." Even if sounds/sights emanating from you trigger your child, it is still helpful to frame Misophonia as an issue you are all working on together.
Allow your child to generate ideas about what might help them during the visit to their grandparents' home. Depending on your child's age/developmental stage support or refine these ideas.
Make a list of the three "best" ideas and put them on an index card. This will make your child (and you) feel that there are options to at least try if the situation becomes too arduous. The exact nature of the options will of course vary regarding age and each family's circumstances. In general, however, this puts your child in the mindset of thinking of ways to help self-regulate in the face of triggers, and what to do if he/she cannot. You might be surprised by ideas your child generates.
Always let your child know when they is doing a great job and if your child is experiencing difficulty, don't panic. It's a difficult paradox within which parents live. However, the calmer you are, the more likely your child will stay calm or return to homeostasis (when the body is calm).
Some general ideas may include helping your child leave the room to reset his or her nervous system. Often agreeing on a signal between you and your child so that he or she can communicate distress helps to know when to do this, and also reduces anxiety.
The holiday season is full of many wonderful possibilities. One does not have to partake in all of them in order to feel successful. In addition, parents should not feel guilty if the difficulties of Misophonia impede on the holidays. Instead, savor the good moments. Point out the positives to your child, and to you!